Our Happy Dance

Joy in the day to day! Joy in who we are together! Joy unspeakable (1Peter 1:8)!

Letter to Seventeen Year Old Self

Dear Teenage Self:

Seventeen is rough while you are in it. In hindsight though, it will be one of your most beautiful years. Keep your chin up.

You think you are flying under the radar, not noticed by anyone in particular. You are important  to someone. Keep doing your thing.

I want to tell you, you will suffer losses this year and in the coming years, and they’ll feel so profound. These things will leave a tender spot, but will carve out a strength in you that you don’t know you have just yet.  Keep persevering.

The next decade and a half, is going to be a bit of a (sweet) science experiment gone bad. You’ll trade your pom poms in for an engagement ring. You’ll burn a lot of dinners. You’ll decorate the house in gilding (eep) and you’ll wear a spiral perm for five years too many. You’ll find yourself responsible for two little kiddos and feel that you are making an utter disaster of it all. You’ll feel scrutinized, you’ll mistrust yourself and others, and you’ll let a lot of people down including yourself. Keep grappling for grace.

People will tell you that God has a hope and a plan for your future. You’ll doubt them a lot. He does though and you’ll realize it when you look at your daughter for the first time; even more so when you see her Daddy looking at her. Yes, you can trust your heart, he’s the one and he continues to be the one for many years to come. Keep your dreams close to your heart.

You are bound for business school, you’ll despise going but it’ll serve as a launchpad for other things.  Eventually, you will get that teaching degree. You’ll go in as an adult and with all you’ve learned about yourself and your God, you’ll still doubt you are capable. Doors will close sometimes. Others will open wide and shout welcome! Keep learning.

You’ll meet a few good friends in the next years who you will be privileged to grow old with. True blue friends that will cry with you when the pink line shows up on your pregnancy test, sing the wrong lyrics with you to your favorite tunes, bring you soup when you are ill and see you through the rain. Keep them, cherish them.

Seventeen year old self, you feel so tall, so awkward and so much the klutz.  I can’t say it improves quickly. Some beautiful day in the future, when you are thirty something, you’ll look back and even though you won’t be able to pinpoint the exact moment it happened, you’ll realize you are finally comfortable in your own skin.  Keep believing it will all work out, because it does.

(By the way, your first wrinkles are laugh lines and that’s a very, very good sign).

 

J0144

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